April 2010
40 posts
'I'm in love with my grandson and we're having a... →
My cousin showed me this, and I thought, hey! I haven’t grossed the internet out in a while!
That being said, I have some serious questions for these people
Phil, have you ever seen a 26 year old woman? Well, maybe you’d change your mind about your GRANDMA if you did.
Surrogate, how is there enough money in the world to pay you to do that? Grossy McGrosserson.
Can you imagine the...
rrainking asked: Why did that enormous shriek/laugh erupt out of you at 4 Days and how can we reproduce it?
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“Look out how you use proud words.
When you let proud words go, it is not easy...”
– Carl Sandburg, Primer Lesson
I am Heidi
I like cookies and stabbing evil robots. That is all.
*EDIT* I NEVER sabotage this dude’s tumblr when it’s open on my computer, or when I use his and it’s open, but ONE TIME I leave myself logged in on his laptop, and SHAZAM! Dude’s posting away here…
GEEZ! Whatever happened to TRUST and NICENESS and stuff like that?I have lost my faith in humanity. I HOPE...
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Mom vs. Jurassic Park: The Ride
Summertime in the Garvin household always meant one solid week away from the California Central Valley at a place near the beach or in the mountains. Preferably where we had a relative or family friend to stay with. Because, much like money, vacations don’t grow on trees. BUT IMAGINE IF THEY DID.
One particular summer, we were staying with my Very Generous Aunt in the Southern...
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Timeline of the Burrito →
tumblangeles:
1923
Alejandro Borquez opens Sonora cafe in Los Angeles (later renamed El Cholo Spanish Cafe)[4]
1934
Burrito mentioned in U.S. media for first time.
Restaurente del Bol Corona opens in Tijuana, Mexico.
1939
Restaurant Xochimilco opens in Hermosillo, Sonora, Mexico
1954
Burritos appear on menu at El Tepeyac in East Los Angeles. They are served on plates and offered smothered...
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Call to Artists
Hey, kids!
Did you know my cousin is an art consultant? WELL SHE IS!
Her new gallery just opened up in Bakersfield, CA (our place of origin), a little less than two hours from Los Angeles. Coming up in June, the gallery is displaying a juried group exhibit, featuring pieces that reflect fashion and/or the world of fashion.
What this means for you: send her your art (as a jpeg email attachment,...
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amazingsuperaustin asked: Dear Heidi Garvin,
It has been a week since the last installment of "Mom vs. (hilarious thing.)" We, the Internet Community, would please like a new one please.
Sincerely,
Austin A.
The Internet
It has been a week since the last installment of "Mom vs. (hilarious thing.)" We, the Internet Community, would please like a new one please.
Sincerely,
Austin A.
The Internet
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Snack Attack
I cannot sleep if I am hungry at all. Can’t do it. Have to have a full tummy to catch my zzzzs. I know, I know, metabolism and digestion and don’t eat before bed blah blah blah. WHATEVER. I’ve tried not eating two hours before bed. It was not a pleasant experience.
Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I get the munchies and I crave carbs and sweets. A handful of chips, some...
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Suddenly Popular
You want to be popular? You want your phone/twitter/internet social networking sites to BLOW UP? Tweet about a Chick-Fil-A that’s coming soon.
Evidence of Chick-Fil-A spotted here. Photo (and important information) courtesy of Jonathan K. The real hero.
(Note: It’s not listed on their website as a restaurant opening soon, but that list on their site admits to be subject to change. I...
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USC = Fast Food Mecca
When I first moved to the USC area to be a little freshman there, there was McDonald’s, Burger King, Carl’s Jr, Wendy’s, Subway, Quizno’s, Togo’s, Taco Bell, Panda Express, and other wonderful quick eateries that were not chains (Chano’s!). (There were of course also on campus eateries including Starbucks, Jamba Juice, Wolfgang Puck’s, Wahoo’s, etc.)...
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Truth:
Sometimes when facebook shows me a person I should add as a friend who I either dislike or am terrified by or both, I will hit “refresh” repeatedly until they disappear, while saying, “Internet why do you hate me?!?!”
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What do you think my dreams about orange soda (specifically bottled orange crush) last night mean?
“Stop the world! I want to get on!”
– The Producers
I do understand that if I post one more story about my mom or nephew in the next 24 hours, I’m going to have to leave tumblr for blogspot. Thanks.
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Nephew Garvin vs. Technology
Recently, I took some photos of Nephew Garvin. He saw the camera in my hand and crawled over to have a looksie at it. I scooped him into my lap and let him hold it, but stopped him from putting it in his mouth (where everything goes these days). I flipped it over to show him the picture of himself on the display screen. The nine month old little dude put his pointer finger in the middle of the...
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My Mom vs. Guesstures
My mom bought the game Guesstures one Christmas and put it under the tree with the tag “To: The Garvin Family, From: Santa.” We played it once. I’m pretty sure she made us.
When it was her turn to act out a clue, she lifted up her shirt and pointed to her bellybutton. Personally, I thought she was pointing to her recent scar from having her gallbladder removed. We guessed a lot...
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My Mom vs. Pictionary
I was a senior in high school. My boyfriend was over at the house visiting. My didn’t always understand that when people came over to the house to hang out with me, they were not also there to hang out with her. That was mostly ok though, since she is a lot of fun. Anyway, my boyfriend and I were playing Pictionary with my parents (there’s not a lot to do when you’re a broke high...
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My Mom vs. The Internet
You guys, when I talked to my mom on the phone yesterday, she let me know that I left my camera at her (and my dad’s) house. The next sentence she uttered will melt your brain, if you’ve ever met my mother: “Now you can’t take Gratuitous Pictures of Yourself on Wednesdays!”
My jaw hit the floor. Because if my mom and the internet duked it out, the final score would...
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The Nut Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Oh, you guys. It’s hit me. Like a ton of bricks falling on my delicate, accident prone head. Or that pole you didn’t see as you were walking down the street because you were too busy talking to your friend. Or a well-aimed red rubber ball during a game of middle school gym class dodge ball. Or…well, you get the picture.
It has hit me that, sure, there are a lot of things that...
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hipsterdiet:
Pat Benatar - Shadows of the...
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Is The Easter Bunny Real?
Brother: Dad, is the Easter Bunny Real?
Dad: Do you REALLY want to know?
Brother: YES.
Dad: Well, what do you think?
Brother: I don’t think he’s real.
Dad: Well, you’re right (thinks: Oh no, the jig is up. He’s gonna know that Santa’s not real, now. Good-bye Santa Claus, good-bye Easter Bunny, good-bye Tooth Fairy…)
Brother: I KNEW IT! He’d need a...
Heidi's Saturday Night
Wearing a t-shirt that someone gave my dad that is too small for him. Thinking about wearing it as a dress in the future. A dress that shows my lady bits when I move the wrong way. After having that realization, now thinking about wearing it with leggings in the future.
Have eaten three pieces of string cheese.
Excited to have internet access again after a 36 hour hiatus. (36 hours?...
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I Wish..
It was Christmastime and I had lots of money so I could buy lots of presents for the people I love. So that I could spend days wrapping them. I LOVE wrapping presents. Anyone hiring professional gift wrappers? I would totally be amazing at that job. No, seriously, I need the money. I always fold the ends of the paper under and place seams on the edges. I’m really good.
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