I don’t know if it was the end of 2012 and the start of a new year or the start of this new season of life, but bit by bit in the past months I have begun wanting more for myself. I’m eating better, moving more, reading more, planning more, writing more, creating more.
It feels amazing. You should try it.
It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.
But in real life, you can’t avoid doing things. We have to earn a living, do our taxes, have difficult conversations sometimes. Human life requires confronting uncertainty and risk, so pressure mounts. Procrastination gives a person a temporary hit of relief from this pressure of “having to do” things, which is a self-rewarding behavior. So it continues and becomes the normal way to respond to these pressures.
Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them. Their older siblings may have been high achievers, leaving big shoes to fill, or their parents may have had neurotic and inhuman expectations of their own, or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.”
This totally justifies every excuse I’ve been giving myself from not doing that thing I’m supposed to do.
Doesn’t matter where in the movie it is, or if I own it commercial free on DVD
- Princess Bride
- Steel Magnolias
- Catch Me if You Can
- Ocean’s 11
- A League of Their Own
- First Wives’ Club
- That Thing You Do
I really wanted to have our wedding at the venue we wound up booking partly because we saw a bald eagle in the trees right before we got there to tour the grounds. I mean, I wanted to get married there before, but that eagle felt like an omen. And not because it’s wonderful and majestic, but because Jim is from Philadelphia and a huge Eagles fan.
I’m also going to be taking his last name because it comes before mine in alphabetical order and I’m excited to move up in the alphabet.*
Heidi Garvin: using arbitrary reasoning to make important decisions since 1984
*First I wanted to hyphenate, because Garvin is MY NAME, y’all! Then I wanted us to both change our last name to something completely new and different, but SOMEONE didn’t want to become James BOND. Then I had the alphabetical order realization and got on that name change train lightning fast. But I’m still going to continue to be a Ms. Not a Miss or a Mrs. Unless someone can think of a good reason to become a Mrs., like football mascots or alphabetical order.
Jim used the word “Fosse” correctly in a sentence tonight.
That man loves me so much.