Heidi Garvin, circa 2003 or maybe 2004.
My first instinct is to make fun of me/this photo. What is this from? Glamor shots at the mall?
In actuality, this is my very first headshot. It was used to audition for plays in college, so it didn’t need to be super profesh. This was when it was still ok to have your headshot in black and white. Also, I was a college freshman and didn’t have a clue. Even if people had started using color for their photos, none of us freshmen at USC were hip to that. We were still trying to figure out how to get into one of those faculty directed shows and not feel like such a small fish in what seemed like a big pond at the time.
When I look this photo, several things jump out at me:
- short hair! I’ve had short hair most of my teen/adult life. I don’t know if it suits my face as well as long hair does, but short hair Heidi is always fun looking. Always fresh and vibrant.
- soft! My face is so soft. I have fuller cheeks and fewer lines/scars left behind by adult acne caused by stress/health issues/medications/stress
- that look on my face! When you’re 19 and in college and have an overwhelming air of optimism and innocence about you, you can get away with having that look in your eyes. Now, well, let’s just say people get ideas about things when you look at them like that.
- Girl, your lipstick is too dark
- Is that your bra strap? Why is it up by your neck?
- Your head looks big.
Clearly, I can only be genuinely reflective for a limited amount of time, but this photo, as cheeseball as it is, reminds me, not necessarily of a happier time, but of a happier ME. I am still a happy person, but at 25 it is a different kind of happiness than the utter care-free, reckless happiness of a 19 year-old with a bright future ahead of her. Now, I have a happiness that is accompanied by gratefulness. I wonder what happiness will look like on my face after six more years have passed. However it looks on me, I am comforted by knowing that in the future, there is happiness. Of this I am certain. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find the nearest mall with a “Glamor Shots.” I need something to hang next to this on my bedroom wall. Oooo! Maybe I can find one with a saloon scene!